Like Maria in the Sound of Music, we’re going to start at the very beginning. Where does the desire to create changes come from? And once we know that what can we do get started with change. 

Here’s the three common starting points I’ve observed in my life and when working with others as their coach.

The Nudge

A piece of beautifully delivered feedback or observing something different in someone else can be the sort of nudge that provokes a desire to change. They can also come in the form of a physical sensation ahead or during a particular task or when you’re around a certain person or group.

A nudge can come from Source – a stirring in your soul, a powerful dream and a “flash” of inspiration could all kickstart your thinking about change. My favourite nudge is when you experience something good, like kindness, generosity, support without prompting and you realise this should become your new “ok”.

The Grudge

A common one I hear about career changes – “I’ve had enough. I won’t put up with this sh*t any longer.” Whether it was poor basics that eventually erode any sense of value or recognition in what you do to careless management by seniors, a grudge can start to build.

It is also one I come across where your values and needs are regularly ignored by others. The expectation is that you’ll flex to accommodate another school pick up or change your plans to please someone else. Or mismatches in what is acceptable in how we treat and think about people, society, climate and so on.

A lack of appreciation is a common grudge in relationships – and not just with intimate partners, with siblings, parents, peers at work or colleagues in your social or community groups and organisations. It’s the sort of grudge that starts small and builds into something bigger if not tackled.

The Fudge

“Holy cow! What now!” You cry as the world spins out of control, as you catch hospital passes thrown at you and you’re exhausted from juggling too many things……time for a fudge. A quick fix to keep things afloat, often at personal cost and a siren call to your disempowering archetypes – remember Superwoman and her 3 friends, Bitch, Martyr and Victim. Usually, nothing good in the long term comes of a fudge provoked change.

By tuning into where your desire for change is coming from, you can find clarity in your direction, how would make life in the broadest sense more joy-filled and what your motivation for engaging in change is.

Your what becomes specific and attainable. You become aware of your drivers and enablers, as do any potential blockers. You define your support crew or spot where you need to find a new addition to them. You learn what you need from your crew, your energy and your time to succeed.

Perhaps your what is a small shift that helps resolve or improve several things – like dominos falling in a line. Let’s take an example. Say you want to change your physical well-being – like proper daily hydration and a diet full of fresh colourful unprocessed foods. These daily changes and actions support our energy levels, improve our brain health and blood health, whilst nurturing our immune systems. All make us feel more vibrant and full of life!

Or maybe your change is a multi-step series of actions, with ups and downs to get to a further out goal. Switching careers might mean a step back or sideways or returning to education, either full-time or part-time. Transforming your intimate relationships might start with working on yourself or together as a couple before you know what the outcome will be.

Knowing your change’s catalyst can help you identify your motivation, whether that is towards something positive like an aligned life or away from something that decreases your potential of being your whole authentic self and reduces your joy. Both can be effective starting out, understanding what will motivate you to continue your efforts and sustain lasting results.

What are you noticing around you in this month of change? A nudge, a grudge or a fudge? What area of your life, work or love are they in? What are you going to do about it?

Need a sounding board who can accelerate your thinking and action taking? You know where I am 🤗