Your nudge, grudge or fudge comes along. You get really clear and specific on what your vision is, what the future holds and why that outcome holds importance to you. You get started then……..

You need to make a decision and…… nothing. Nada. Nichts. 

Life is full of decisions. Time of change and transformation are really full of decisions. Some are easy to answer. Others require a bit more investigation and thinking.

But some…… well, they get you stuck. Going round in loops, seeking out an encyclopaedia of information, gathering opinions, creating stacks of analysis from every angle possible or potentially, you might choose to avoid the decision, ignoring it or pretending it doesn’t need to be made.

The good news is all of those things are normal human reactions. Phew. The bad news is that there is no single, failsafe “magic wand” fix all I can give you. However, I do have some ideas on getting unstuck during change.

Check your responsibility

Ask yourself honestly “Is this a decision I have to make?” If that’s a no, then you’re carrying someone else’s monkey. Let it go.

By caring for others, we can absorb their emotions, good and bad around the transformations we want. It’s a wonderful, kind, generous use of your energy – but does it really impact or influence how your change journey continues? Might it also take you off course, back into wearing your mask of inauthenticity, limited by external expectations of you? 

You can also use your Women’s Powertypes to focus your decision making: Create a quiet, calm moment to close your eyes and travel within. Bring your mind to 5 years time and imagine how life, work and love will be, channelling your Sorceress’ connection to wisdom, magic and innovation – What’s changed? What are you doing? Who is supporting you? How are your values and needs met? What are you feeling being in alignment?

Next, travel back to 3 years out from today and embody your Queen. Picture your vision – how are you serving the world around you? At work, at home, in your community or wider. What are you doing? Who is with you? What results are you witnessing?

Then step closer with Warrioress – 12 months time, 8 months time, 4 months time: what are you doing to deliver your vision and the future you aspire to?

Open your mind

You may have heard of “analysis paralysis” – the whirlwind circling of being driven to collect facts, details and evidence and then review it from every conceivable angle, yet not quite getting to a conclusion – rather finding more avenues to travel down first.

Finding the right amount of insight prior to making a decision is tricky. For example, you may be confident to move ahead based on a gut or heart reaction. Or you may feel the need to do more in-depth research. This will depend on how significant the decision is. Deciding to have an extra helping of dessert may be a positive emotional reward for a milestone achievement so gut happiness alone works. What if it could be breaking of a new healthy eating habit? Then combining the emotional and rational together could help make a more long-term decision.

My suggestion would be to take any exit of the “roundabout” and trust your inner satnav to tell you if you’ve taken the right one. If you haven’t, you’ll get feedback – a feeling in your gut, a tight neck or a dream. Trust Source to have your back. If you’ve gone wrong, learn from it, come back and apply that learning to the decision and take an exit that now feels right.

Get accountable

If you don’t have a firm deadline to decide by, create one. Mark it in your diary. Post it on the fridge door. Adding certainty to the decision point enhances your brain’s comfort levels and helps to prevent decision avoidance. Leaving it open-ended encourages more turning in circles, avoidance of making the decision and typically, greater stress levels!

Hello, overwhelm and fatigue!

Accountability can come in many forms: a coach, a group of people with similar challenges or plans**, apps you can download like Todoist, Trello or Habitica, coworking spaces and meet-ups, like support groups or communities (like Weight Watcher weigh-ins). Find one that works for you – do you need a gentle nudge or a firm hand? Do you need an expert or mentor who’s travelled your path? Do you need organising and scheduling?

** PS have you been over to the Haven yet? Nope? It’s full of women making changes in their life, work and love to bring their whole authentic self out? RSVP here to join.

Sometimes, you need to try something out of your norm to get new, fresh results. Edward de Bono (yes him of the 6 hats fame) talks about stepping outside your rivers of thinking. Picture a mountain with several routes for water to flow down it – the water is going to take the easiest option and soon a wide valley is created. But around the edges are little streams, creeks and brooks – the route less travelled. Add a dam and the water seeks new or alternative routes.

Your brain is just the same – gazillions of neural pathways exist and the ones most regularly travelled become wider and stronger, just like the river. By switching your inspiration method, tool or source, you create a new pathway and like any muscle, with use, it will grow stronger.

So, please have a borrow from some of my favourites. For small ‘a-ha’s of inspiration, check out:

pinterest or Instagram – for words or pictures of wisdom and why not create a board of the thing you’re seeking to achieve?

brainpickings – a collection of great thinkers, presented in an easy to read visual format

twitter – a short sharp blast of exciting things from people you admire, desire, idolise, add you own word here

– flick through an old book or two – you know the ones you could hardly put down and reminisce

– change your workspace – clear the clutter, sit in the bath, face the window or go somewhere else

– go for a walk – whether to grab a coffee or juice or around the nearest park, take 30 minutes out and try to really take in the sights, sound and smells

– dance it out – stop, put some music on and do your happy dance, best dad dance, birdy dance..….whatever comes to get your blood pumping in time with your songs.

And now the big ones:

– free writing in your journal – grab a favourite pen and a big piece of paper, then write. Anything. Pour it all out. No editing. Everything is valid. Let your mind wander until it strikes gold

– ask a friend to teach you something they’re passionate about – knitting, a new recipe or a mediation technique. All good at stimulating new ideas from your subconscious.

– write yourself a letter – explain what you’re trying to do and what you need to get going

– create a perfect patchwork role model of future you (or future job, house, body, etc.) from your various heroes and heroines. Let me give you an example, you might want a fitness patchwork you based Jade Jones’ abs with Laura Trott’s post-race glow (how does she do it!?!) and Ellie Symonds’ joy of being in the pool or your new career path might be stitched together from the atmosphere at your favourite coffee bar, a crowd of likeminded people and your personal favourite bosses’ style.

– seek others’ perspectives – develop a list of questions you need answering and interview people who are doing what you want (or similar), those who have a “stake” in your change (your best mate, your mentor or your bank manager) AND anyone who can add a totally different point of view (your nemesis job holder, your overseas pen pal or a potential customer)

…….and breathe – you don’t need to do it all at once and the best-made plans need to flex and grow over time to deliver the most amazing results possible.

Getting unstuck during change will be a skill you hone by leaning into your feelings, your intuition and using your body as a compass for what is right for you. Don’t get stuck alone – lean into your connections. We’re all here to support, inspire and empower you: reach out in the Haven or drop me a line any time.