Stepping stones across a brook

Why can it be so damn hard to be consistent?

We are capable women. We know our responsibilities. We make our plans. We set out with all the right things in place then BOOM! We drift. We get sidetracked. We get asked to do something off track. We adapt and flex. We end up lacking the energy or oomph to fully engage or make the impact we’d like to.

Then comes Superwomen’s emotions of crushing self-doubt, feelings of failure or not being enough, exhaustion and frustration. Oh, and there’s her mates, Bitch, Martyr and Victim on the horizon….

STOP!!

You are all smart women reading this – you know success doesn’t come from hard crazy work and killing yourself to complete things, rather it comes from consistently showing up. For your family. For your team. For your mates. For your community.

And for you – yes, I’ll say it again, consistently showing up for you.

So why is it so damn hard?

My sense is we stop saying “YES” to joy. We measure ourselves on others’ expectations and needs. We push our power, our souls and our values aside. It depletes us. It wears us down. It kills our potential to lead in all aspects of our lives.

I would so love to give you a magical secret formula. Consistency is a choice. It is a commitment to yourself. It takes courage and support. It takes knowhow and it needs to come from joy to stick.

Step 1: replenish yourself first – before you consider embarking on getting consistent. Go to bed early, take your vitamins, move your body, cry, shout, laugh, get a hug, give a hug, get outside, see the osteopath, meditate, see your doctor, meet or call a mate, take a bath, whatever your body and mind need. No one has ever been a consistent leader if their physical and mental health is suffering. (Not sure what your needs are to get to an equilibrium or even an excess of wellbeing, let me know)

Step 2: set your intentions for future you. What does future you look, sound, feel like. You may have one or several. They may be related or stand-alone. Capture them all.

Simon Sinek is on to something in his work. Step 3: know your why. Get clarity on your values in the area you want to shift in – for life, love, work, money, wellbeing. (Not sure how to elicit your values, let me know)

Step 4: pick your battle – again language is important. Note my language: Battle, not battles. Where do you want to create consistency first? What will create the biggest shift or outcome for you? Would consistency in one of your intentions solve or improve your consistency other intentions? 

Don’t take it all on at once. You already know that, cos that’s what you’re probably already doing, multitasking the heck out of things. Consider the route to consistency as needing a snowball effect. Once you’re rolling with consistency in one area, you can pick another and allow your new consistency to flow over into the next one.

Step 5: schedule your actions and nudges. Looking out as far into the future to when you achieve your intentions, work backwards to diarise any reminders, motivations and milestones. (PS Nudge theory? See October’s Monthly Shares.)

Step 6: get accountable – who is there to support, nudge, celebrate or pick you up? This is when to call upon your boss, your best mate or your coach – let them hold a hand out to help you be consistent.

Girl helping up her friend

Step 7: as my mentor says, “Now, Sarae. JFDI”. Seriously, just f**king do it. Even when you really don’t want to. Do it. You will feel better for doing it, even on the most crappiest of days.

Step 8: note down your successes and any synchronicities, luck or acts of fate that helped you out. It is all valid in you getting more consistent. Then express your thanks and ask “for this or better” from your Source (I say Source, you might say God, Buddha, Mother Nature, the Universe, that’s cool, use what’s right for you) 

Make it part of your workday wrap up or your day end just before bedtime. Why? You’re creating greater flow – a flow of self-recognition building your consistency muscles, a flow of positive action into the next day and oh my – it is a flow of joy in ourselves and our progress.

And at all times go easy on yourself if you do need a sidestep, to skip or simply forget. The unexpected is to be expected. You will need to catch curveballs and sometimes deal with them ahead of your intentions. That could be good leadership in the moment. Keep the faith – you’ve got this, replenish and step back in. You are enough. You are amazing. You are supported and held. You are moving towards greater consistency and success.

I’m very conscious as I write this; I may be making this sound trivial or like I’ve got consistency cracked. It isn’t and I haven’t. It’s hard.

Some days I do. Some I have to JFDI it. Some I completely forget. Some I get caught up in what seems urgent or necessary to meet others’ demands or needs from me. I’m human and I’m perfectly imperfect.

That said, I know that surrounding myself with people who want the best for me, have knowledge that can enable me or can help me connect more deeply with my intentions and values is key.

I meant what I said above – you are enough, and you are held. It’s one of my business values to be a committed stand for you. I’ve got your back. You can be more consistent from a place of saying “YES” to joy. 

Drop me a message if you want to know more about intention setting, values and needs work using the positive Powertypes and please, do share your tactics for being more consistent across your life to inspire another woman in our community.