Thanksgiving just behind us and with the countdown to Christmas getting shorter and shorter, your attention might have gone towards gifting and celebrations. 

We want to bring our authentic presence to all aspects of our lives and in the holiday season. With it, we can be in the moment and fully experience what’s going on around us in every way, but can we bring our authentic selves?

Authentic presence is a combination of feeling, doing and being your true self. Others will see, hear and feel your presence – the human brain is tuned to detect authenticity through congruence in our words, our actions and our body language. It’s why children can spot a liar a mile off. It’s why our skin crawls when we sense someone isn’t quite ok to be around. It’s why we worry about being  our true authentic selves and how others will react.

Having authentic presence means showing up as you, honouring your values and needs, setting your boundaries clearly and making decisions aligned with who you want to be.

It also requires you to honour the values and needs of others, respect your boundaries and decisions, and meet them where they are on their journey.

The holiday season can throw up some challenging moments. Family meals and visits. Company or team social events. Gift buying and giving. Here are some tips on maintaining true to yourself:

1) Tap into your Sorceress Powertype and envisage yourself, showing up as you want to using all of your senses. What are you doing? Who are you doing it with? What words are you using? How does your voice sound? What are you feeling emotionally and physically?  The more specific you can make this, the better it will enable you to achieve your desired outcomes.

2) Avoid surprises – check the guest list, understand the outline of events and know your options in advance. “Forewarned is forearmed” – you create your personal tactical advantage by doing your preparation.

3) Get clear on what is fixed for you and where you might choose to flexible. Perhaps someone who is toxic might get temporary membership to your Hearth for the good of wider family well-being. Fix how you wish to be around this person and how you will mitigate their impact on you.

Or it might be around sticking to routines and practices that support your authentic life, such as eating and sleeping habits, or things and activities that don’t bring you joy.

4) Practice saying no and setting boundaries from Queen. Rehearse conversations with a trusted friend: prepare your words and practice fully embodying Queen. 

5) Make space for you – plan your replenishment, your self-connection time and your………whatever it is that gets you to ok, connected to your joy.

6) Stretch your joy spotting muscles and up gratitude routines. Being intentionally aware of the small things like a corny cracker joke or a heartfelt greeting in a card to the bigger things like making snow angels with your family or friends. Pause to absorb the moments, the emotions and the physical sensations. Remember to complete your gratitude routine with thanks and asking for more.

7) Bring your authenticity to your presents – nope that isn’t a typo. Shopping with authentic presence can mean making different choices. Choices that match who you truly are and gifting things that create joy for you and the recipient. Maybe it’s supporting small, local businesses or opting for things that are more environmentally friendly. Maybe rather than things, you pick out experiences to share or donations to charities. Maybe it’s giving the gift of knowledge through books, lectures and courses.

8) Being authentic also means exercising self-compassion and self-acceptance. You might allow yourself to out on a mask hiding your true self away, bend to someone else’s expectations or let a boundary be crossed. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to process and recognise what you can learn from.

Having authentic presence for me this last few months has been putting my coaching skills onto paper and publishing the Feel more joy journal – a self-directed exploration based on my coaching process. Perhaps it’s the authentic gift to give yourself, a sibling or a colleague?

It’s available in print and for those conserving trees, in digital format for tablets all for under a tenner! 

And until 31st December, I’m offering a perfect part to it in the form of a Powertype package at 21% discount – yep for less than £120 you or the recipient get a One of many Powertype assessment, personalise report and a 90 minute debrief. It’s a great way to end your year strong and begin the new year with clarity and confidence. Use code ENDD21STRONG to get your discount.

You can buy the journal and book your package here.

Happy Holidays!